it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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