And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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