fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
