Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
