Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
