And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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