My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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