ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
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I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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