feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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