I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
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