I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.