GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you