the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.