I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
