Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
