so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
