dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
