So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
