I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
