end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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