if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
