I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
