I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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