I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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