Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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