We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
