If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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