id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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