PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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