After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
