There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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