Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
