My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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