Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
