Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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