I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
