yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
