i barfeds in our rink
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
