i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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