It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
A bitchslap is in order.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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