She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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