he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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