In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
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I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
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Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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