Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
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I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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