I can tuck mytits in my pants
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
