dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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