fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
