now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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