oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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