i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
