I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
