omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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