You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
