i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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