I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize