At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
