the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
