I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
