he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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