Your dad touched me again.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
